As a follow up to my last post, I decided to write a bit about manifesting my relationship. I don’t want to reveal anything too detailed, but some bits and pieces mostly focusing on the process. This post is specifically about the starting points and the foundations I built around creating a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Listening to Abraham for a while, I realized that restating the “backstory”/”background”/”context” is not very helpful, so I’ll just say this: you have to take my word for it that I had really, really negative relationships in the past. I actually just had one “stated” relationship that was probably the worst of them all, but I’m talking about every man I was with was a pretty negative experience. Let’s not go there, but I will say I truly “believed” that although I genuinely wanted a happy, healthy relationship sooo bad, it might never happen for me. That was my thought: It might never happen for me. What a thought of doom! It’s for everyone else and not me. However, it wasn’t like I really saw healthy relationships everywhere I turned, so I thought it’s just for a select elite few that grew up in the right family circumstances that nurtured the “true” way to love.
Well, it did happen for me, and when it did because it happened so fast that I thought I sounded like I was making stuff up that was clearly happening right before my eyes.
The first thing I did was I wrote about what I wanted. To do this, I wrote about what I did not want, and flipped it to its opposite. Here are parts of a document I have not edited since the 16th of September 2012 (I “manifested” meeting my fiance’ two months later)
My intentions were quite general, mainly focused on what I didn’t like in terms of how I was feeling. I then wrote about why I wanted what I wanted, and how it would make me feel. At first I did bullet points the way I did up here, but then I wrote a full script – I’m pretty sure Abraham Hicks publications is the first to come up with that term/publish it, even though I originally got it from another source (I actually had just started reading Abraham in April 2012). Scripting is where I’m sitting in the seat of having what I desire and what kinds of things I would say. Here I did specifically write about how I would feel in a loving, fulfilling relationship. There were a lot of general statements and bits and pieces I had gathered from my experiences that I would like. For instance, I was always jealous of my friend who had a good relationship, especially how every time I asked her “how are you and your boyfriend?” she would say “really, really good.” and genuinely meant it. So one of the things I wrote was “We’re doing really, really good and when people ask I just have to say that we’re doing really great because we are.” Another thing was this was when I was living in Italy and I really wanted to travel with someone, have someone show me around Italy so I wrote about how I felt now going around Italy with an Italian feeling very safe and how happy I was to see all these sights I’ve been dreaming of since I was a young girl. I wrote a lot about how happy I am with the texts I was receiving from him and how sweet and romantic he was, which was definitely something that was always incredibly important to me. I drew a lot upon other people’s good relationships stories (usually ones I didn’t know personally) and a lot of things I hear from personal development programmes about stories of people creating a healthy relationship. I really put myself in the position of being in a truly healthy relationship, as I even wrote, “I don’t know if this is going to last but it’s okay because this has got to be the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had so far. I’m so happy for myself and so happy for being here and coming to this point.” And I have to say of course being human I’m not always thinking that, but when I am in a good place in my relationship (mainly when overall I’m in a positive emotional state), I naturally have no fears about our relationship and it just gets all that heaviness to dissolve.
Why the Foundations are Important
Getting into the feeling place is essential to creating the relationship you desire or anything you desire for that matter, and not for the ulterior motive of receiving what you want. You deserve this so you don’t have to “work” for it in that way that this seems like a test to prove yourself. In my past experiences, I see that sometimes I get what I want without getting into the feeling place of it first, and that’s where that superficial high comes from – I’m happy I achieved something I didn’t think I could have and that happiness could last for a while, but it is so unsustainable. However, with this relationship – the first “thing” I truly consciously and deliberately manifested – since I laid so much of the groundwork, it was more than just a high, it’s something that is activated every single time I am in a positive place. Basically, the foundations, especially in a relationship, make you the creator of your experience and stop getting you to ask someone else to do the feeling good for you (ie, asking someone else to make you feel better). And that is extremely attractive.
Happy Foundation Building!