The More You Love Someone..

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill em.
The more you love someone,
The more he make you cry

Though you are try
For making peace
With them and loving,
Thats why you love so strong
You like to make him die!

The more you love someone,
The more he make you crazy.
The more you love someone,
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him
And only see fat and lazy,
And wanting baseball bat
For hitting him on his head!

My wonderful friend Sammy came from the US to visit me and my fiance’ recently in Milan, and I mentioned to him that well my fiance’ and I were fighting quite a bit lately and I wanted him to know that beforehand. He showed me this song from the puppet musical Avenue Q, The More You Ruv Someone, to explain why I was getting so angry all the time. I remembered something Christie Marie Sheldon said in one of her programs about how when she talks about love, she’s not talking about the love-hate program – that’s not love, that’s drama. And I “intellectually know” (I can put the label on it) that I have been doing the drama program with my fiance’ for a quite a while now, but I don’t think it’s because “I love him more now,” or that “the courting period is as good as it gets.”

I think in society today most of us go through this idea: someone or something is going to come and complete our incompleteness. It’s why I get “addicted” to going to the mall or eating chocolate. I think it’s going to save me!!!

But no one is going to save me. No one is going to save you either. There’s no such thing. Might as well burst that bubble yourself because it’s going to pop someday anyways.

The reason why traditionally “the more we love someone the more we want to kill them” is because the more someone is in our lives and the more we care about them, the more we give them our attention, thoughts, time, energy. Usually, if we do not have a strong sense of self, we would give a lot of our attention to approval of friends, shopping, and any other thing we think is going to save us. But now this new partner is in our lives, and we move all the attention we used to have on those things that were harder to blame for our lack of fulfillment (crap stuff I bought! Oh well, I bought it, so..) (I guess that can lead to self-blame, which is pretty bad too) to this new partner of ours. In the beginning it’s fine, but then “the more you ruv someone..” well you can see where this is going – now you’ve asked them to be a certain way and if they don’t do it..yup, now they’re just “fat and lazy.” But it’s not because they’re fat and lazy, it’s because we’ve given up our power to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we never took care of ourselves anyways, as was the case in my first relationship. But the point is, if the more you love someone the more you want to kill them, it’s not because of love, it’s because of you’re giving all your power to something you have no control over. You’re looking at someone else, something outside of you and saying, This will save my life!

But no one is going to save you.

I think it would be best if we rephrased that statement to The More You Love Someone, The More You Have to Love Yourself.

The more you love someone, the more you have to love yourself. And likewise, the more someone loves you, the more you have to love yourself too (otherwise, you will end up hurting them, a lot!). The more you love someone, the more you have to focus on your own sense of self worth and tend to that from your own self love and not the actions of another. The more you love someone, the more you have to pay attention to and care about your own thoughts and feelings. The more you love someone, the more you need to ignore what you think they want and focus on taking care of yourself.

Well what is self-love? How do I love myself?

I think that’s a whole ‘nother blog post, but I managed to do it one time, and I know I still do. It’s just life is now calling me to love myself in a larger way than I used to, covering more aspects of myself than before. Loving yourself is not like getting a certification or a university degree – you put in all those years of hard work and now BAM! You love yourself now and forevermore! Nope. Like Abraham says with alignment (which is the same as loving yourself), it’s a moment-to-moment yes or no thing. I can honestly say that I’ve managed to love myself and keep up what I’ve accomplished in the past, but now life is calling me to love myself in a larger way than I used to, and it’s getting bigger and bigger every day. It’s got to happen now though, since I’ve experienced the contrast and discomfort of the more you love someone the more you want to kill them.

The more you love someone..the more life calls you to you love yourself!

-Catt xx

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s