Going deeply into so many recent experiences has been such an adventure. I’ve noticed the way my paradigms continuously require to update to make sense and order of an otherwise chaotic world. Possibly just a domain of the mind, and not necessary for self-actualisation and self-realisation; however it does make you good with words around it. 😉

Experiencing a separation from a relationship a year ago now, my greatest lesson has been how easily we can ascribe responsibility to things outside of us, and that this won’t do. This really won’t do. The level of personal responsibility I’ve been coming to understand has been very mind-opening. It allows me to see Law of Attraction on a completely different level, much deeper than I had ever understood it before.

More than ever before, I’ve seen how so many “problems” are created from situations where we have not fully taken 100% responsibility – putting something or someone else above ourselves.

People like to talk about how you have to put yourself first, oxygen mask analogy, yes sure. I think the question isn’t do we accept that to be true (because most people now do), but to what extent we deliver on that. To what degree do we fully stay true to ourselves, always. Yes, always. Literally, any time we put ANYTHING above us, in my case, making my relationship experience more important than my own inner experience, puts us into trouble where we have to let go of that sooner or later.

What I’ve received from this understanding is that we’re much more creative and filled with things to share than we realize. We’re unable to realize it when we don’t claim enough responsibility. As an example, I stopped playing music for 6 years, even though when I was in high school, my dream was to become an artist someday. I basically felt like I was okay, as long as I was with my partner. My emotional expression became dependent on the ability to volley them with someone else, or simply to express them to – sometimes unfortunately at – someone else.

When I came back to Taiwan, I looked through a lot of my things from high school, and I found stacks – literally stacks – of music. I was surprised at how much music I had learned and how determined I was to become a professional singer songwriter someday. I had rewritten lyrics to songs and written a few originals, all in this portfolio book I carefully polished and printed on special paper. It was endearing to see, and what was most eye-opening was how this all disappeared since moving off to college.

I’ve picked up my music again, so much that my fingers have developed calluses in a matter of days. What’s amazing is I still remember so much of it, and I’m more passionate than ever to create even more deeply than I ever have before in my life.

Here’s a recent creation 🙂

If I could make my stage bigger today and I could speak louder and have more people hear anything at all, it would be to take control of your life and make your own decisions from thinking for yourself. Think for yourself. Think deeply. Even if that means you spin, sometimes negatively, think. Think for yourself so that you know what’s you and what’s not you. So that you stay 100% true to yourself. It’s never worth it to go down anything that isn’t fully true to yourself.

Someday, maybe I’ll create that stage. That will allow me to know I did what I came here for. And of course, thank you to whoever is here already today to read this.

Love,

Catt xx