The covid diary: moving forward from the pandemic

This is the fifth draft I’ve written in attempt to write something about the Covid19 situation in London since March. I outline, draft, tweak, scrutinize for hours on end, resulting in all but zero posts in the last five (five!) months. So today, my mission is to write – no outline, no final destination, no thesis. Just flow, and the intention to connect and document.

It has been an extremely challenging past five months. I’ve had to adjust my lifestyle and spending habits, while working full-time. Even though my company is remote, as an office and team coordinator I’ve had to adapt a lot of processes. I remember waking up to dread, from the helplessness I felt in response to the handling of the pandemic in the UK.

Having lived through SARS I in Taipei, it was horrendous and scarring to go through the pandemic here. Despite the clear evidence – current and historical – for what had to be done, we decided we were above it all, and that a virus wouldn’t come affect us in particular. This mentality felt more like a disease than the actual virus, which was traumatizing to witness. I’ve felt heartbroken for humanity and how we’ve come to view ourselves with such pride and arrogance. This doesn’t even take into account the juvenile behaviours that happened on a daily basis, such claiming rights on the basis of “I got here first,” or public officials doing getaways during lockdown.

Now at three full months of lockdown, we’re lifting restrictions in about a week. We still have to wait in line before entering the supermarket or visit the post office. The restaurants and barber shops are still closed. But apart from that, my refrigerator is finally looking a little more normal, and I’m able to buy eggs when I need them. Things are loosening up, and while I’m still going to wear my mask (always anyways!), it has got me thinking – what now? What’s next?

What do I want to keep from going through this global pandemic, and what am I letting go of moving forward?

We struggle with change. That’s why we saw so many people resist the changes Covid19 forced onto us. Yet change is the way of things, and nothing was ever made to be permanent. The only constant is what is inside us, and it is our duty and responsibility to tend to the world behind our eyes.

As I look back on this period and bid it an emotional farewell, I ask myself, what maturation have I experienced, and what must I work on moving forward? Did this period teach me anything that indicated the forward strides I must take?

Evaluating myself from a distance, I’d say that everything I had thought about and worked on in 2019 was essential. It was shocking to see the restaurant I had worked at in 2019 disappear in operations in a blink of an eye. While I would have gotten an 80% salary, it would have been very challenging to consider my next move in that economic climate, and I would have stagnated. The life lessons I learned were all crucial in keeping me going. 

Moving forward, I would like to keep a few things. First of all, minimal travel. This began for me in 2018, but I’m focusing even more on figuring out where to settle down so that I can travel less. Ever since travel became more accessible, we haven’t developed a responsible model when it comes to travel. What is appropriate? How much is too much? What downflow effects does it have – not only with our travel, but what other people see through our social media? What if we all chose to settle down a little more? What could happen then?

Second of all, I’m beginning to recognize the importance of living in Truth and sharing it more. I’m not saying this in a “holier than thou” way – if I come across this way, please understand that it is not my intention. The model we’re living and playing out in the West is not working, and we cannot keep it going. Call it ideology, religion, philosophy, mental models – whatever we name it, our approach to life is dysfunctional. From my evaluations, the greatest impediment to our collective evolution is our lack of faith in God and spiritual order. Lack of faith is a dangerous epidemic in our current generation, and I’m beginning to sense a stronger, more urgent need for me to “come out of the closet” with my beliefs and faith. At the very least, I’d like to show another way of doing things, another story we can choose that may work out better, both on the individual and collective level.

There’s so much more I could write about on the subject, but if I do, I’ll continue on for ages. For now, I’ll leave it here for a good edit, then finally publish my second blogpost of the year! I’ve been wanting to produce a lot of content, but never had the attention-span to do so, or the space to take care of my personal expression during this period. I’ll pray that I get a chance (and the courage) to share more of my beliefs and faith, and that it may inspire others to reconsider their ideas as well.

In the meantime, it’s summer in the UK, the pollen is less severe on my allergies, and the peaches, nectarines, and cherries are seriously in season. I am in desperate need of a haircut as well. Who knows what else is next – I ask is that I’m able to flow with these changes, and except for the grace of God go I.

Love,

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