Founding Resonance and Rinascere

Well!!! It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything online, and so many changes have occurred in my life that it’s confusing to know where to even start! Everything feels so different, and I’m loving the 2017 vibes that seem to be happening all over the place.


The greatest experience I’ve been having is the concept of Rebirth (which is what Rinascere means in Italian, basically Renaissance). The idea that in every moment, we can rebirth ourselves, that the past can just fall away if we choose for it to, and that in this moment, the Universe is responding to this vibrational offering in this specific moment. That concept has been so powerful for me, and has been my intention for 2017. At the end of 2017 we’ll see how that’s been for me as an experiment… 😉

SO! On one hand, all the personal development work and life coaching I’ve been doing has been continuing, and on the other hand I’ve been creating a marketing project I call Project Resonance. I call it Resonance because that’s really what marketing is about, it’s about Resonating with the people who will benefit from your product or service, and having that resonance carry them through to a sale.

One thing I’ve realised is how much I enjoy marketing and sales and capitalism just for the fun of it. I think people like to blame capitalism, yet I see it as an opportunity for us to demonstrate what is important for and to us. And this is very powerful. Our money is basically our vote for what WE define as valuable.

In life coaching, I tell my clients that the reason this is working is not only because of my knowledge in personal development, universal truths and etc, it’s because of your VOTE IN on your personal development, your spiritual progression, from your investment. Sounds like a sales tactic, but hey, I don’t make the rules of energy. This is why I love the structure that is currently in place. Of course there are huge negative issues around capitalism rampant in the world, and I acknowledge that fully, as that is exactly why I am choosing to further positive work in the world through harnessing people’s voting power by influencing their awareness.

Every time I purchase something, I look for the intention behind it. There’s a gelato place I took my girls to yesterday (I coach a badminton team!) that I love and take everyone to. Firstly, the ice cream is delicious – it’s not overly sweet, the ingredients are pure and very fresh, and they’ve got cool flavors. The main reason why I’m always there however, is because of the intent behind their whole business. They let everyone try every single flavor if they choose to, with ZERO annoyance energetically. They ask their clients what flavors they’re desiring to try, they bring water to your table when you eat in (hot water during the cold winter days!), and when you order a latte, it includes a cookie spoon! Little details like this and more importantly, me feeling into their energy and intentions, demonstrate to me their customer focus and focus on bringing a delightful experience. That is how I vote with my money. And perhaps later on, there will be more customer focused manifestations and I would expect them to keep up with it if they still desire to retain me as a client. Nothing personal at all, and you can start to see how much influence we have on the world as people who will spend money.

When I see companies and businesses like this one, I elect to do the work in marketing for them. I’m currently working on a few that I am super passionate about and that is very exciting, same story with great intentions and customer focus. With Project Resonance, I’m assisting people in creating their marketing as a marketing service. So none of let me teach you how to think like I do because let’s face it, I think the way I do because I think the way I do, and not everyone thinks in this way, nor does everyone have the experience that I have in marketing and sales or being mentored by some powerful players in the world stage. I’ve attempted to teach/coach/mentor people into good marketing and honestly, I couldn’t get very far with anyone who didn’t already have the marketing mindset. I’m assuming it’s the same way as me learning coding. I am able to code, however to actually create something new, I know I’m not approaching it in the mentality that is conducive to successful coding.

I go extremely deep in marketing, and I think a lot deeper than even people who know me really well realize, because I not only do marketing, I infuse intuition to project the purchases of your products/services, ensuring through this process that it is NEW, FRESH marketing (which is the only way to resonate with your ideal clients). I harness the trajectory of your product/service and where it’s leading to, and I create marketing from that space, connecting your intention to where the potential clients are currently at, and I’m also able to powerfully “translate” what you mean from where you are to what your clients can hear from where they are (did I mention I speak 5 languages?).

I’m currently still testing out my Project Resonance, so if you’re interested in seriously upleveling your marketing at a really good rate, please use the contact form to connect with me and I will evaluate whether your business is one I would be happy to further sales goals.

Aside from Project Resonance, I’m just enjoying my life where I’m at and watching things come together and take form. I’ve become very focused on my Rinascere constantly, which has been a beautiful experience. It’s a very revealing experience, and as I create my new personal development materials and content (you are all so going to love it!!), I’m enjoying some of the best work I’ve done in my career in marketing and sales, as well as being in Grace to what’s next for me, which I feel will be extremely revealing and powerful.

Life is pretty amazing!

With love,

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Ending Regrets In Life and Start Living

Hi everyone, it’s Catt here. This article is longer than usual, but I wanted to share something very personal today that has been going on for me lately and has really moved me emotionally. I’ve recently been up to a lot of things – some are amazing like with coaching and working with photographers, and some are quite stressful like moving to another country. Anyways in this blogpost, I’m sharing something personal about a topic that had always been foreign to me: Regret. I intend to share my experiences with regret, and to get you awake if you’re someone who lives with regrets – if you are someone who does, please read this well, and please send this post to anyone who lives with regret, as it may change their life.


A few years ago I experienced a really bad relationship with a guy I met in college. We were really close friends before and during our relationship, and one thing I remember he always wanted to know was how I had no regrets in life. I had gone through some pretty tough stuff, and I honestly had zero regrets for everything that had ever happened to me. I heard my mom complaining about regrets, I had heard my dad warning me about regrets constantly, but it was the one thing that never rubbed off onto me. I lived with zero regrets, even with the harsh consequences that came with some of my choices.

The guy I was with at the time, let’s call him Alec, would always ask me: How can you have no regrets? Don’t you wish certain things hadn’t happened? And I would respond in total confusion – why would I wish something I chose didn’t happen? Regret simply was not part of my mental vocabulary – it couldn’t even be defined in my life.

We sometimes would go into more detail. I’d ask him what he would regret. He said that sometimes he didn’t study enough and ended up getting grades that weren’t so good, but it would just happen because he just wanted to work on his music more, as it was more interesting than studying. And I said then why would you regret it if you want to work on music more? If you are more drawn towards your music and you ended up choosing to do that instead of studying, why would you regret? If you know you want better grades, you just have to choose to put off some of your music production. Why do you need to regret anything?

Sometimes, Alec would tell me during the times he hurt me “I really don’t know how you can not regret anything, I regret many things in my past, and the list just seems to get longer every day.” Even when Alec hurt me, I could feel terrible, but I never regretted what I chose, because I understood clearly my motivations for choosing exactly what I did, and if I had to change something, I knew where to look.

Well, lately I’ve experienced some regret for the first time in my life.

I experience some regret with getting such a nice car that it’s hard to figure out what to do with it if I’m moving countries. I’ve been experiencing regret to do with working for a company that I felt totally against. I’ve been experiencing regret when I think back on some of the difficult situations I was in, where people I was living with were in critical conditions and I was required to “help out,” only to realize they were using my “help” to not face what was going on.

I couldn’t understand this for the longest time. I had gone through much, much worse situations than these before I experienced my incredible miracle and I thought I would be able to handle these relatively smaller issues. But I felt restless, and I didn’t even recognize that I had been experiencing regret until lately with working on moving. What I’ve uncovered is that in each of the cases I experience regret, for myself at least and the way I experience life, is that they all came when I didn’t make my own decisions and chose to listen to someone else I felt knew more about the situation to deal with.

“Trust your instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own.” – Billy Wilder

Never have I ever experienced my mistakes not being my own, and for me, it’s absolutely excruciating. In the large scheme of things, it’s fine – I’ve stopped working for something I don’t believe in, I don’t live with “people who need help” anymore, and it’s really just stuff when it comes to things like my car. But the experience of having to live with someone else’s mistakes (even if they come from good judgment), that these consequences stem from following what someone else recommended that I need to be or do, I am absolutely unable to feel empowered and a part of me just “wishes I didn’t do that particular thing.”

In the past while I was in middle school up to college, I had fiercely made all my decision for myself, and it was fantastic, even when it wasn’t. I was so rebellious and felt so strong in my decisions that even if they turned out poorly, at least I would be the one to deal with them. I never felt regret because I knew that each mistake or “failure” I experienced would bring me more understanding, and with more understanding I could gain awareness and insight that would bring me where I desired to go. My rebellious spirit was strong, and I experienced great pain, but also great joy, and that to me is the experience we came from – we didn’t come to make half a world where everything is only good, we came to experience ALL of it.

And that’s something I want to shake the world up with. I want to remind you and myself that trying to play life safe is trying to die, because it’s trying to never live. Being motivated by the safe option is never knowing how much of life you can handle and break through to experience something incredible. In the end, for myself, the safe option became the most dangerous option because dousing my rebellious, fierce, tenacious, driven-to-succeed attitude by searching for safety ended up almost taking my life away – in fact it already has by robbing me of a whole year of trying to do what everyone else wanted of me instead of being me.


I’m glad I’ve followed some pieces, like my decision to start coaching and this whole project of working with teenagers and also moving back to my home country. If these turn out to be mistakes, I can adjust and course-correct and accept my mistakes. If what other people told me to do turn out to be mistakes, I can only live with regret of consequences in which my energy wasn’t fully in on.

If you’ve been like me lately experiencing regret and making decisions to play it safe, I invite you to accept that you have not made some of your decisions yourself, and ask yourself and ponder on the question: Who are you going to be now?

Life really is one swell ride – and it’s really just a ride – meant to be fully experienced, not hoping that things will be okay and that it’ll be a safe ride. Get the hell outside and experience your life because this is not a rehearsal, it’s not something you can say let me get everything right and then I’ll go outside and be like hey everyone, I’m great. It’s about experiencing every single emotion there is and CHOOSING who YOU WANT TO BE based on EVERYTHING you’ve experienced. Get the F*** outside so that someone else stops living your life, and you do instead so that you can actually get your life back and move it forward. You’ll always be the one who lives with your mistakes, so they might as well be your own so that you can learn and grow from them. You’ve already wasted years in not being yourself – can you really live with more?

What’s the worse that can happen? You make your own decisions that don’t work out? Well at least you know you did what you best knew at the time, and now have gained new awareness so that you can do something about it instead of feeling like this wasn’t what you thought would happen. Live! Live, live, live, and stop dying! Choose for yourself, even if that’s going to give you pain. Pain is one million times easier to handle when it comes up because you followed your own path. And it also gives you the precious jewels of awareness that allow you to get to know yourself and what your path really is.

Starting today, make a commitment to yourself that you will start making how you feel and what you want more important than anything else. Starting today, look at everything that you’re doing and evaluate your motivation for doing them – if it’s to play for safety, break the lie. Break these falsehoods. There is no safety, there is only you making your own choices and living your own life, or having someone else tell you what to do for you. Starting today, get out there and make some mistakes, feel it all, get to know what it is about the things you’re doing that will take you where you want to go. It’s all there, we’re all here, and we can all make more amazing things happen if we can learn to make decisions for ourselves.

That’s all I wanted to say today – please get out there and be you, the world needs you and the world desperately needs people to think for themselves and make up their own minds.

We can do this, one person at a time.


A Mindset Piece – Drop Worrying!

Best Christmas ornaments!

Just this week,  I went to the Milan Yonex International 2015 Badminton matches. I love watching badminton – I used to play for my high school team and yearned to train for more matches and competitions. I haven’t trained for years but still enjoy playing. I enjoyed watching the games a lot and was reminded of so many mindset pieces I acquired through looking back on my game.

One of those things that I have been thinking about lately is worrying. Worrying is probably one of the biggest things that have held me back in my life overall, and I’m betting in the lives of many, many people. Since integrating personal development into my life, I’ve seen the uselessness in worrying – although it doesn’t mean I never do it – and have experienced a period of time where I didn’t worry about anything, which allowed space for incredible changes in my life.

Worrying is completely pointless and just makes us feel bad. There are many reasons for which we worry, all which don’t make sense. Personally, I worried because I thought it meant I cared more. I also worried because I didn’t want to get caught out on things, and I worried because I believed that it strengthened my motivation and drive.

All of these things can be easily seen for what they are – pointless. Just because I worry, doesn’t mean I care more – I can care more without worrying about something. If I don’t want to get caught out on things, I will do something about them, rather than worry about them. That solves the problems (or plays the cards to attempt to solve them), worrying doesn’t! And about my motivation and drive? I would prefer that I were inspired and motivated by something positive instead of something negative, and that would produce the result I am looking for.

taken from

taken from

This beautiful infographic, borrowed from live like a grown up, illustrates the point wonderfully. It shows how worrying is completely in it’s own category pretty much, and by itself has nothing to do with anything. Take a worry you have in your mind and go through that – you’ll see that the problem can be solved without any worry.

Worrying actually creates what we do not desire to come into fruition. Because of our focus on it – whatever we focus on we pull into our lives and draw it in. So if we focus on the problem, that grows. If we focus on the solution, that grows. The solution has nothing to do with the problem, and worrying is all about the problem, so it actually doesn’t help with coming to a solution.

Photo Dec 10, 3 37 29 PM

Back to badminton, I remember when I played tournaments and I would count down the minutes until I had to step onto the court. I was always pretty confident, but inside, I worried a lot. I worried not for what others thought of me so much as would I live up to my own expectation? I worried about something going wrong, I worried about how I would play and whether I’d play my best, I worried about disappointing myself (and possibly others). The good news is once I get onto the court, I’m not worrying about things. But all that buildup and stress, all that drama and headache – and for what? Did it even help me in any way if by the time I got onto the court I dropped them all anyways? I could have just enjoyed my time.

I am reminded watching these tournaments that worrying is utterly useless. I would think – wow they’re in the finals, would they be nervous and worried? And I would imagine how they would have to wait for the moment they’re in the finals, and keep working on the outcome in their mind and through their skill. At the end of the day, the match is the match, it’s already there and done, and there will be so many more matches to come! There is no need to worry at all!

It takes a powerful consciousness to dissolve worrying. It takes focus and presence to do so, not just logically piecing things together, because that can lead to ignoring worries and trying not to worry, or even worrying about worrying. Be still with the consciousness and notice the presence in you, and take the hint from this blogpost that staying conscious will do so much more for you than worrying ever will, even if it seems like you’re not doing much!

If you would like some inspiration during the weekend, I’d like to invite you to join my list where I send a Sunday Inspiration Connection Letter every Sunday along with other tips, updates, and offers for coaching and being conscious!

Have a lovely day everyone!

Catt xx


Saying Yes


Very windy, on the top of the world in Gubbio, with the most breathtaking incredible view of this absolutely beautiful country.

Wow is all I can say about the past two weeks for me living here in Camerino, Italy. I can hardly believe that it was just two weeks ago this day that I was standing in the Rome train station, hearing everyone around me communicating in Spanish that after eight years of study I couldn’t understand (it’s because they speak Argentinean Spanish!) and thinking “what in the world have I gotten myself into??!” I feel totally embarrassed to admit this right now, given what an incredible time I’ve been having, but I was so unsure about coming here when I first got here. I even thought “Let’s just go, Catt – if it’s really not going well then I can always go back to Milan it’s not a big deal.” Wow. How ridiculous, I should have been excited beyond anything I’ve experienced since the last three years.


Our wine tasting hosted by Noe’s Robert Frifri

I am so, so grateful and thankful that I said YES, and that I have been saying yes to so many things, even if they didn’t turn out well, because it has made me say yes to this experience. I honestly did not know where this experience would take me, and I was slightly weary as the previous experiences I’ve said yes to have created some wear and tear. But I stayed open to the possibility, and said yes.

Logically, it didn’t make sense. I didn’t know anyone who had done this program, I hadn’t heard of anyone who even knew of this program, I don’t like school in general, the appearance of their website made it look like they would be winging things, they said the apartments don’t have internet, and remind me again why I was in the middle of hundreds of native Spanish+Portuguese speakers from South America? To my mind, there was every reason for me to stay in Milan and chill, use the internet, cook, and coach.

Fortunately, I’ve gotten used to not doing what others think of me, and not needing to find people to agree with me to do something. I’ve also gotten used to not following my mind pretty much any of the time. I can’t begin to talk about how incredible this experience has been so far, and feeling so grateful and scared at the same time that I’m half way through the program.

Perfumed Dreams & Gifts from Gubbio

First of all, my fiance’ told me yesterday while we were in Bologna together that my Italian has gotten better. This is incredible for me because I can already speak Italian fluently, but there were just some final bits and pieces I desired to learn and hone in on, like incorporating the subjunctive tense. Well, the four hours of lessons every day and the fact that the only common language we have is Italian (98% of people do not speak much English) has really helped to improve my Italian and really take my language to another level. Every single teacher here is a really good Italian teacher. I really mean that, and they also take turns doing guided tours on the excursions, increasing our contact with the language.

Second of all, I am much happier than I have been in a long time, thanks to this pattern interrupt. My vibe shifted, and it’s easy to see that, as this place is absolutely beautiful. Being able to live in Camerino, a quiet town nestled the mountains while going on trips almost every day all over Italy has been such a relief for me. It is truly the break I’ve desired for the past few years that I couldn’t seem to define. I love going into the churches in every single city, as they are just so beautiful and seeing the beautiful artwork reminds me to contemplate on truth. I’ve been having really amazing food as well – the pizza actually feels quite wholesome and healthy to my body here, no joke! I’ve also been back on the mat stretching every morning and evening and connecting with my body again with so much more SPACE.

Third of all, and I may leave it here for now, is the friendships. I cannot believe that two weeks ago I was like maybe I’ll just be by myself all the time, and that’s ok. A girl in my class just left because she is on the two week program, and she came to say goodbye, crying. I realized that that’s how I would feel at the end of this program too, because these people have been so fun to be around. I haven’t danced with so much joy I don’t think ever in my life until the dinner party we had this beautiful medieval castle. Karaoke nights at a delicious restaurant and dancing with everyone have just been one of the most fun and joyous experiences for me that somewhere long long ago, I’ve always desired.

Saying Yes

What I want to point out in all of this is how pleasantly surprised I am at a decision to say yes. I had been saying yes to many things, and not all of them turned out great. But you know what? They always show me something about how to relate to energy, and I get better at discerning what would be a great thing to say yes to or not as I make mistakes and grow.

Prior to meeting my fiance, I had said no to almost every boy unless he met certain requirements, or he somehow snuck past those barriers because he was very attractive or something that drew my fancy. It wasn’t until I looked at myself, what I had been experiencing and made the bold decision to say yes to ALL men who “send me an arrow,” and really open myself up to that experience did I start meeting authentic guys, and more than that, know how to carry myself and my energy in situations where I met inauthentic guys. Most people thought I got lucky, but I knew much better than that.

I’d like to encourage you to think about what you’re saying yes to and what you’re saying no to, and see what comes up. It’s truly worth it in my experience when we say yes and just keep going, even when we mess up. It’s the only way we get better at it and improve our alignment with our desires.

So what do you think is waiting for you to say yes to that you have been saying no to?

Adventures await!

San Marino

xx Catt

A Desire to Experience Italy..


I am in a beautiful amazing city right now. And in a spacious and comfortable apartment suite room. It has a window overlooking these incredible stretches of hills of green and brown patchworks and a courtyard garden full of green. And the temperature is very ambient and comfortable.

I wish more people from the US knew about this school and program, as it has been exceeding my expectations since I arrived and there are very few people from the US. It’s a school for foreigners studying Italian called Scuola Dante Alighieri, and it’s located in a beautiful historic and academic city called Camerino. It’s almost like a mix of Tuscany (located on the hills, uneven cobblestone roads, historic beautiful architecture, the rolling hills, the sunflowers) and Bologna (academic, antique, grounded). I always loved Tuscany with the terra of brown and green patchworks, and I loved Bologna because of how grounded it feels.

Can you believe cars drive down this road?

Can you believe cars drive down this road?

My phone wouldn’t let me take photos today – it kept displaying that my storage was full and glitching up, so I didn’t get to take photos of the beautiful theatre we visited today, but that’s just as well. Being back in Italy exploring new places has really brought me back to my feminine essence – the ability to experience things. As we explored the rooms of the theatre, looking at the frescoes, chandeliers, and the beautiful furniture, the elevated energy of the space really brought me back into my beingness and reminded me of how important it is (even for men) to drop into the feminine essence and experience beauty. It’s almost like I have forgotten about it since I left Italy the first time, and I am grateful to have found a piece of it again today as we explored the beautiful rooms in the theatre.

There is so much beautiful Italian culture in Camerino. Yes it’s a bit in the peripherals, it’s small, and it’s out on the edges, but it’s absolutely beautiful. Like any Italian city, there is a central Duomo – the central cathedral – that is beautiful and monumental. Every time I walk in a cathedral, even in small random cities, it puts me to my knees. There’s a theatre like I mentioned before, and a university. There are a lot of small shops and stores, and if you want a grocery store you take a bus (it’s not far, but it’s very sloped).

I’ll be writing a lot more about the program and the classes on this blog, but today we did our placement test and got some class info. I’m enrolled in the 4 week program, there are 2 week, 3 week, and 4 week options (which are on sale as of right now! See here), but basically the whole summer course includes the trips – which is incredible. One-day trips during the weekend and half-day trips during the week. The trips include guided visits to Venice, Siena, Pisa, Bologna, Rome, Florence, Assisi, San Marino, and a few other smaller cities nearby. Also, four hours of Italian lessons every day, and guided tours in Italian. I love how immersive this school is, and they really go out of their way to make for a lovely experience. I’m surprised that there are so many people from Buenos Aires and Brasil, but not the US. The other thing I love is there are people of all ages here, from young teenagers to elderly couples. What a wonderful thing it is to be able to do a study-vacation no matter what age you’re at.

Here is a photo from their website of the school building – it’s absolutely adorable and lovely:


Traveling is always such an amazing experience. It really opens you up to a new way of looking at things, if you’re available for it. If I hadn’t been so well-traveled over the years, I would never have understood how our thoughts create our reality. It was definitely my international background that helped me understand how law of attraction works in life and how different reality can be for different groups of people. It also made traveling such an adventure – what thoughts do the people here have, what is their worldview that allowed them to create things in this way? No matter what it is, whether it’s beautiful incredible Italy or exotic Bali or wherever that may not even be that breathtakingly beautiful (er, perhaps LA? Hahaha) – I am always curious to understand the mentality that leads to a particular way of life.

Learning a language also brings the same thing. It’s not just about being able to recite conjugations and memorize vocabulary. It’s a lot about energy, and integrating energy, something I work on a lot in my coaching. If you can learn to listen to and tune into the energy of expression from a particular culture of a place, learning the language is a truly incredible experience that gives credence to the tangibility of energy.


If you’re interested in an Italian Study Vacation, a break from your regular life (especially in a city), an experience of Europe – if you have a desire to study Italian and experience Italy the way I did (and maybe experience a transformation!), I highly highly HIGHLY recommend looking into Scuola Dante Alighieri in Camerino – you will have to study a lot of Italian, but it is such a joy of a language to learn. And you have the opportunity, included in your tuition, to travel to so many beautiful destinations (I’ve been to almost all of them already, but I’m probably going to go to a lot of them again!). I’ll be posting it all on Instagram – make sure you’re with me on the adventure!

I will be posting a lot more as my month unfolds. For now, I’m resting in the gratitude of being in such a beautiful country and in such a beautiful location.

Time to do my Italian homework!!



The imperative of creating your desires


Creating the life of your dreams is a must. I don’t care who you are, where you come from, how fine things are going in your life, how simple you think life is meant to be, what reasons you have as to why you can’t, I. Don’t. Care. Creating your desires is an imperative.

Maybe they’re hidden deep inside somewhere. Maybe they’re written off as impossible. Maybe you think you’re already happy. Maybe you’ve tried really hard and they just haven’t been coming to fruition. Or maybe even – you keep thinking this is it, then you keep realizing this is not after the initial high is over.

Desire is important, as desire creates Life. Experiences created from desire are completely different from experiences created from fear. I think one of the most valuable gifts there are in the world is being aware enough to understand where you’re coming from, and move yourself towards your desires.

It takes a lot of applied thought to be able the life you desire – being able to think consecutive thoughts towards the life you desire is something that everyone is faced with working on (well maybe not people like Eckhart Tolle or Byron Katie, but for most people, it’s an exercise!). I’m experiencing so much juiciness though from just recognizing when a thought is not going in the direction of my desires, and choosing another thought. Or even when I am thinking a thought that is in the direction of my desires, it feels really energizing to acknowledge it!

I’m moving from Tustin tomorrow (where I’ve been living for the past 5 months) and going back to the LA area until I go back to Italy again! So there has been a lot of driving for me in the past few days with moving all my stuff, all the while listening to personal development, which has really been a wonderful experience. I’m starting to realize the amount of airtime in our minds we give to our desires vs everything else is the key determinator of whether or not we achieve our desires and in what time frame. Being open-minded, practicing awareness, allowing what is, and being inquisitive have all been important for me in the past few days. And a lot of these thought practices have led to a natural gratitude. It’s something I wish for everyone!

When I go back to Italy mid-July, I’ll be heading down to Rome soon, because I’ll be studying Italian in Perugia at a language school for foreigners! I already speak Italian, but I think it’d be great to brush up on it, sharpen my grammar, and enjoy Perugia! I’ve only lived in Milan, so living in Perugia for a while is something I really look forward to. Also, there are weekend trips all over Italy – I’m so excited to go to the South for the first time! I’ll be sharing some wonderful photos and experiences of this here and on my instagram – so make sure you’re on my list!

It’s also my birthday on Independence day – so you can wish me a happy birthday! 😀 I’m celebrating randomly today and Friday and so forth. I think the best birthday present is having long periods of time where my thoughts are going in the direction of my desires, and without the little snafus that occurred that resulted in staying in for my birthday, I could not have the opportunity to practice this thoughts-going-in-the-same-direction game that has been massively improving my mindset in the past week (special thanks to my friend Alan for that!)

I’m also doing a lot of updates on this web space and with coaching. I’m creating some really exciting things for assisting YOU in creating your desires – so stay tuned for that, I really can’t wait to release some wonderful content for creating desires.

All this exciting stuff – and it’s not even the best of it yet!!



Photo by Wesley Chen (instagram: wecoch) at Laguna Beach 2015 (c)


Uncovering the Shadow

News & Update

Hi everyone! I’m in the process of converting my blog into a base where people can connect with me and my business…in transformational coaching! Right now, I am borrowing my blog really, because I do have a beautiful website (that will be under a different web domain..a bit confusing but hey I am too excited to wait to start! :)) that is under construction, so look out for it! I’m very grateful for my lovely team ❤ It has been a rather hectic time for me these days, but I finally feel the bits and pieces of my vision coming together, and I’m really excited about sharing more with others, helping others move through their stories and issues to embrace an authentic way of life.

Make sure you connect with me on my new facebook page and on my instagram!

New Ways of Connecting

I love dissecting ideas and coming up with deep discussions about these amazing self-discovery journeys, but like I said a while back, I’d like to be a bit more transparent and possibly come here more frequently to post to give myself some growth. I’m really going with whatever feels most natural and really more about sharing myself and my life.


One thing I’ve been really feeling vulnerable to lately is the shadow. Everyone has their shadow. I have my shadow, my family has their shadow, my man has his shadow, and so forth. Everyone does. What do I mean by shadow? It’s that part of you that’s difficult to accept. The “darker side” of you. Maybe it’s something you’ve done. Maybe it’s something you secretly do. Things that you may be ashamed of, things that people told you were bad. Things that you desperately don’t want other people to know.

Light, dark, and shadow

I think over time, things that constitute my shadow have changed. There were times in my growth where anything sexual was dark, or the horrible unnameable things that occurred were pushed down by myself. Sometimes I yell and scream in rage, and then after condemn myself harshly for them because of the downright unacceptability and inappropriateness of my harsh judgmental view, I try to resist these aspects of me.

But what you resist always persists.

I speak for myself, but recent events around me have shown that this resisting of your shadow, trying to put up a front for everyone else, can be very largely detrimental and have effects that affect much much beyond, let’s say, merely two people in a room yelling at each other. I watch how it affects our entire economy based off man-made laws that attempt to bypass the laws of the universe (which is of course, impossible).

One of my biggest coaching focuses is to embrace yourself to live authentically. The level of clarity I had in Italy taught me that nothing is worth hiding, because it just makes it come out in much more exaggerated, dramatic, “societally-acceptable,” forms later on that simply aren’t worth incapacitating yourself with. I don’t mean you go around and spread to everyone what a horrible person you are because of this or that that happened, because that would probably mean you haven’t embraced your shadow (although I did do this once, to trigger myself out of the desire to put up a front). But I do mean not being on the edge trying to make something happen for the impression others have of you. I do mean looking straight at everything you’ve done without the voices of the opinions others, without the trademarked voices of society, without your own conditioned voice, and really look at it..look. at. it. Look into it, look through it.

At the end of the day, the light is all there is, but it cannot be experienced without the dark. If only light exists, then light is merely a concept that can never be felt and experienced.

Whatever you’ve done, I accept you. Whatever I’ve done, I accept me. I am in the process myself, but we’re all on the same journey.



Photo by Andrea C.

Why is personal development not working for me?

I’ve been reading personal development ever since I could read. Ok, maybe a few years after that, but I always loved books and movies that would promise a possibility of a different life through inner change. I am still in love with the possibilities personal development opens us to if we are willing (or perhaps a better word would be eager) to look at the ways in which we can change ourselves, and thus change our lives.

I can’t tell you how many personal development programs I’ve purchased and done online. How many counselors/coaches/therapists I’ve shuffled through. How many books I’ve read and reread, really wanting to improve and up my game so that I could better serve the world (ambitious perhaps, but not delusional!). And throughout the whole journey, no matter where I’ve come to, there is the possibility that I arrive at a time and space where I find myself thinking:

Why is personal development not working for me?

I know in my last blogpost I shared that I really achieved a very pure clarity that allowed me to see everything in my life the way it truly was and not as the illusions that made me suffer. And I also said this:

These systems started to work when I applied them in a certain way.

This quote of “a certain way” comes from The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles. I realized that was what happened as I was writing about what I was doing, and thinking about how it hasn’t really been that way since that experience (as I share on this blogpost, I never seem to get things to work out for me). That certain way I guess could be described as “connecting with my soul,” as my previous blogpost was talking about, but that can be seen as airy fairy and really, what does that even mean if you don’t even believe we have a soul, or don’t know what that means?

Well recently I’ve been humbly inspired to another piece of this “certain way” business that really caught my attention. It came from listening to a couple of interviews and rereading the book of Anita Moorjani, Dying to be Me (which to me is a must read!).

Here’s the idea. Personal development is basically “promising” us that we will live a “happier” (or “more successful” or “more fulfilled”) life as a result of doing what they suggest. While a lot of this information is truly fantastic (and true, and very actionable and real), there is a big pitfall in such a promise. That is that we literally, actually, reality-ly, physically, metaphysically, nonphysically, cannot find ourselves in a space of happiness/success/fulfillment if we are looking for the answer outside of ourselves. And this is the state many people are in when they do come to personal development.

We realize that this whole time we’ve been doing things out of fear of something else, out of avoidance of something, rather than out of true desire. And when we approach personal development in this way, we are signing up for failure, every. single. time. without. fail.


Well if we accept the law of attraction, we know that you attract that which you fear. Thus, if you’re doing anything for the purpose of avoiding something, you will attract that something you’re avoiding. So if we’re looking at how to become financially successful out of a desperation to avoid being a financial failure, if that is what we are motivated by (this is what I mean by “outside of ourselves”), I personally don’t see how it could, metaphysically/physically/nonphysically speaking, ever work out and have us come out as a financial success. At best, it would be a quick fix or create the longterm struggle, produced purely through action.

If we get on the treadmill to avoid being fat, if we take the job out of fear of not paying the bills, if we marry the person out of fear of never being wanted, if we go to a party out of fear of being rejected, if we think positive to avoid negative manifestations, we will ultimately find ourselves unhappy, even if we are able to keep up with the exterior world. If we apply personal development to avoid being unhappy with ourselves or avoiding a certain situation or circumstance, I personally strongly believe that this is why a lot of personal development “isn’t working.”

Quick story to illustrate the point: I have a set of books called A Bug Free Mind by Andy Shaw. The lessons in this book were absolutely essential to creating my first miracle in relationships. It talks a lot about (ironically) why personal development doesn’t work, focusing mostly on the way our minds are working against us. The first time I read this, it was revelatory to me. My questions were answered through this book, and in that “round of realization and miracles,” it was exactly what I needed. Being in control of my mind was the foundation to creating a relationship I desired.

After my clarifying experience through cleaning my thoughts up, I left that space of pure clarity and I instantly recognized, due to past experience, that I was not in control of my mind – because I had figured this out the first time, and that had been the problem. I was thinking “Oh GOOD, I get to shortcut it this time without going through the worst experiences – let me just get my bum back to cleaning up my thoughts and controlling my mind!” Yet, I went through crappy experiences again. And that wasn’t because of the information (very seldom is it really about the information itself – I won’t say never though because there is some crap out there). It was because I was completely motivated by my fear of wrongthinking, messy thoughts, lack of structured thinking, being out of control of my mind, being controlled by my ego, and living a life I didn’t desire, that I kept reaching for these books and desperately tried applying the lessons! And guess what I got?

(Are you one of these people too?)

Another example is meditation. I see things like this all the time: meditation gives you more time because it relieves your stress and makes you more productive, and you get to connect with answers that you otherwise would spend days figuring out. What is this, the overfunctioning burnt-out workaholic’s special? Where we feed only more of the ego in the promise that we’ll make more things happen and gain more prestige and more money and more more more… (not saying there’s anything wrong with making things happen, prestige, money, or more, but chasing these things certainly doesn’t give us the experience of “having” them!)


The opposite of this (the certain way!) is to be motivated by desire. This is the complete opposite to doing something to avoid something you don’t want. They may be the same things, for instance, getting married. But one being done out of desire to be expressing life with another vs one being done out of not wanting to feel like an old bag are completely different things!

Reading more and more personal development out of fear of the unhappy life just isn’t going to get you the happy life, as weird and meta as that sounds. Connecting with desire will. Maybe at some point I will pick up the personal development books and programs that do serve me, but it will be after I let myself come from a place of desire rather than avoidance.

Connecting with desire isn’t a difficult thing either; remembering to do so may be, just as creatures of habit, but you instinctively know the difference. A tip is just ask yourself whenever you’re aware of it: am I doing this out of the desire in my heart, or am I just trying to run away from something else?

Always let your heart decide, and get clear on what that means. Trust me, you don’t want to waste your time TRYING SO HARD to APPLY THESE DARNED PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PRINCIPLES and GOSH DARN IT WHY IS IT NOT WORKING ALREADY?? Yeah, it’s not pretty. I’ll take that emotional craziness for you and encourage you to connect inside starting now, so that you don’t have to do that emotional craziness I did.

And if you’re thinking of applying what I’m writing here out of avoiding not getting what you want in personal development..well just think of what that’s creating!



My Affair with Italy

Italy. I think everyone wants to see Italy. If they don’t they’re not being honest, or they haven’t connected to that part of them that wants to experience beauty in physical, grandeur expressions. If even then they don’t want to come see Italy, well let me share with you my experience and see if you’d change your mind about it…

I was given the opportunity to visit Italy when I was in my third year of college, where I would study abroad for a semester. I might add I almost wasn’t able to go because I hadn’t taken the language requirement before leaving, and my online course was not being completed because the textbook wasn’t arriving (to Taiwan) and a huge mess occurred about three days before my flight where I had to tell the housing in my school that I might have to return to campus. It had overall been a very messy period of my life in general. I knew I had to stop doing those things that I kept doing (partying, spending time with friends judging and gossiping, having closet relationships that were not even relationships..) but I had no idea how. Either way, I knew I wanted to go to Italy, and the opportunity was in jeopardy.

But armed with my metaphysical studies, I pulled out the book Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting, and went to the chapter on Ye Gads, I’m Feeling! And I poured myself into the knowing that I would see the Duomo of Milan in utter awe and see Italy for around 45 minutes before bedtime..and when I woke up the next day I got my desire! This was my first moment of true gratitude for my opportunity to be in Italy.


Visiting Duomo


(By the way, when I actually saw the Duomo of Milano for the first time, I literally gasped out of sheer awe of such grandiose beauty)

I remember the moment I landed in Italy..I flew from Taipei to Hong Kong, then Hong Kong to Milan Malpensa. I remember seeing the lush green trees and fields from above, and the uniform red, red

red rooftops and lush green

red rooftops and lush green

rooftops that I had only dreamed of seeing before. It wasn’t that it was a big deal to visit Italy…but I was actually going to LIVE there for THREE MONTHS and I would get to know something I was never even consciously aware existed.

Soon my excitement became tinted with anxiety, as I felt truly like a foreigner for the first time and I didn’t know anything about Italy. I didn’t know when to say Ciao or when to say Salve or Buongiorno. I didn’t know what Italy was, and being someone who always tried to do what everyone else wanted of me, it was pretty nerve-wracking at the beginning!

first meal

first meal I ordered in Italy

I remember my first meal in Italy. I was still living at the hotel because I had a day before I moved into my host family’s house. I was walking along the streets of Milan, feeling very self conscious, but in speechless awe at the architecture around me – I really felt like I was in a movie set. I felt that when I visited New York, but this was on a completely different, heightened level, as every building had incredible sculptures on the balconies and the petunias overflowing from the windows just looked like a dream to me..or at least a movie set! So here I was looking for something to eat – I actually spent about three hours walking around until around 2pm because I felt way too self-conscious to walk into a restaurant and order something! I felt so fish-out-of-water and I had never experienced that before! I still had a lot of investment in what others thought of me, and keeping up with it was TIRING! I eventually chose some place because I knew I had to eat. I ordered, ate, then when it was time to pay,I had an unfortunate realization: AM I SUPPOSED TO TIP? I felt absolutely awkward. If I tip, I don’t like tipping in coins. Yet the biggest bill I had was 10 euros – for a 8 euro meal. I just couldn’t figure out what to do, I remember looking at the waiters and then looking away thinking “Oh crap.” I wish I could access my internet but I had no phone or wifi. I ended up leaving without tipping, then raced to my hotel room to get wifi access and breathed a HUGE sigh of relief that Italy is not a tipping country. PHEW. Meal #1, DONE!

view from outside my window in Italy

Outside my window


Italian gma

my Italian grandmother and sister cutting a homemade apple pie

As I mentioned before, I knew I had to stop behaviours that didn’t serve me, and I thought at least in the meantime while I still care about what others think of me, I will not do the things I can control that I know I desire to end. Those things included hanging out with people just to hang out with people, drinking, partying, and I didn’t really have anyone to hook up with so that settled itself, but I also did not go out to seek that anymore. Instead, I spent a lot of time with my host family, just being part of an Italian family. I had a host brother and two host sisters, all younger than me, a host dad (who is the most amazing cook), host mom, and her mother so a host

Making gnocchi from scratch with my Italian grandmother

Making gnocchi from scratch with my Italian grandmother

grandmother who came every week. I remember I approached living with them in a state of awe as well – everything they said and did was just so amazing to me. It was so different from the way my family did things, and I felt enormous privilege to watch and be part of the experience. I also watched Italian movies with them and this really strengthened (along with listening to them talk) my learning Italian.

Along with this, in my second year of college, I drank a lot of alcohol. And I mean a LOT. And this, along with not exercising, made me gain a significant amount of weight. I was never fat, but it was clear that I had gained weight, and in Taiwan I was considered very fat (as everyone there is so skinny), and I had been told I was fat all the time it drove me crazy. I was on this personal development membership site and I had wrote to the author for help with how my family was treating me. He gave me mind tips, but he also suggested if I really have a weight issue, I should look into

started juicing in Italy

started juicing in Italy

Slim4Life by Jason Vale. So I had started reading that in Taipei, and when I arrived in Italy, with all the free time I had (just classes and then going home to wonderful dinner) I calmly finished reading everything. Again, without distractions, once I finished the book I simply went out to the electrodomestics store and purchased a small juicer for 45 euros, and started incorporating juicing into my life for the first time. Some days I would just have juice until dinner, and dinner was always fresh made by scratch and I would be in love. But I really started juicing every single day just like that.


Also in my second year of college, I had some crazy backend girlfriend relationship experiences. I won’t go into detail here, but let’s just say they were a bit insane, in the no-tomorrows way (naw come on I was always safe, the whole idea of it was just crazy). I never got to be with anyone who really appreciated me aside from shallow fancies of my no-guarantees exuberance that I adopted when a boy broke up with me from the only relationship I had (I was not in relationships with any other guys I was with). While I was in Milan, I met some cute boys I never got with, just talked to, but I would dream of going to places like Venice with a lover, someone with whom I could hold hands (the ex boyfriend never let me) and croon about how beautiful Italy was. My whole life experience was always shaped by my relationships, and the reason for letting go of the cool, popular front I had built up in college was from a painful experience demonstrating to me that it didn’t give me the relationship I wanted.


mask from Venice where they celebrate Carnevale


On one occasion, I went with a quiet friend to Venice. While we were eating lunch, a waiter, not ours, came up to us and said “Dimmi.” And I was like, “Well we were waiting for the bill if that helps.” He started asking me where I was from and why we were in Venice, and he said to my friend, “Sorry I’m coming in like this, but I really have to at least try to ask her out, you understand I’m hoping.” I was absolutely flattered and embarrassed at the same time, as he was older than me (he was 32 if I recall properly), and coming from being backend girlfriends and never even being asked out on a date, I was absolutely flattered. He took us to Piazza San Marco and showed us around, where he then left us, telling me that he would love to see me again but if I’m here with my friend then I’m here with my friend. I told him I appreciated him showing us around and thanked him for his time. Before leaving Venice, I bought a magnet with the street sign that said “Rialto,” which was where I met him, to remember our interaction. It wasn’t so much about a man talking to me that I felt so in awe for, but that I had stayed open enough to enjoy the interaction even if my mind wanted nothing to do with it really (random older Italian waiter guy hitting on me? Please!) (No, no, no, I stayed in “Maybe” energy, which was who I really am).

Anyways, on normal days, I would go to class every day, learn Italian (I absolutely loved learning Italian), then start my journey home on the bus and tram, but sometimes I would walk. I would just meander aimlessly so that I could see the city. I did this on the weekends too. As long as I could find a tram that went to the Duomo (the central cathedral by the way), there was a tram that had a stop there that would take me back to the neighborhood my family lived. So I just meandered, sometimes with my jaw wide open at what I would find hidden in the city – incredible statutes, a facade of a building that looked like it would be featured in a museum, hidden churches filled with incredible artwork (paintings, architecture, etc), the people on the street trying to sell me touristy things…I was falling in love with Milan by looking for these things actively every day.

I kept hanging around outside in the city, sometimes stopping in stores, sometimes hanging out in a cafe or the [one] bagel store reading more of my personal development or listening to it on the way to places. I’ve lived in a city all my life so I knew how to adapt easily to city life. I was also able to do all the things I had been trying in personal development for a while. I kept a gratitude journal in a way that really meant something to me, I exercised a bit every morning, I did yoga, I meditated, I kept applying programs I had already and kept reading, listening to books, and I would post on the personal development groups and interact with people there. It was fantastic – no distractions, no mind mess. No friends, no parties, no country hopping hustle-traveling.

The mug I manifested

The mug I manifested as a gift from my host mother!

These personal development things I applied just started to work without effort on my part. I didn’t have to remind myself to do any of these things, I just did them. They became part of my life. I soon realized I had stopped caring what anyone thought of me because I simply could not even guess. Like I wrote in a previous blogpost, I did things like manifested a mug I was looking for. These systems started to work when I applied them in a certain way. I was pretty surprised to be honest, as I had never seen such clear evidence of the laws of the universe in play until I had cleaned up my own thoughts.

I eventually reached a point where my mind was pretty clear, and I came across a book by Kamal Ravikant called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. And I applied what he wrote, and it worked like he said it would. It worked again with little effort on my part, because I already had been so committed, ready to shed the illusions and following through. From the first thought in the morning to the last thought at night was “I love myself” for about two weeks straight.

Then came the super-magic on top of the magic that oh my gosh I had just fallen in love with myself and wow I didn’t even know it was possible. I had started reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch for the first time, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I really wasn’t alone. I had said things just like God did to Neale about fundamentalist Christianity and relationships. I finally felt like what was happening was starting to make sense in my life and felt the presence of something that had been with me the whole time. I bought a piglet in the Disney store at San Babila to remember that someone loved me (this was before I applied Love Yourself).

my love - pimpi!

my love – pimpi!

Then I listened to a recording Neale did (after my love yourself experience), and all the pieces came together for the first time. I felt deep, deep gratitude for every experience in my life – not just the ones that pushed me to change, but the ones that I was absolutely certain should not ever be a part of anyone’s life. I realized that I had been it all the time, I didn’t need to do anything to be loved, unlike I had thought before. I didn’t need to do anything to gain anyone’s approval, I already had the greatest approval of all – being me. I was in a space of pure clarity for another few weeks – even while I was in class or babysitting kids, or sometimes I would just not even go to class..I would sit on the park benches in the middle of day when no one was there, and feel the power of what Neale was saying and feel deep inside me “I really am not alone, nothing has ever gone wrong, and I am already that which I seek to be.” I was having a truly revealing experience, much like the ones people go through in their near death experience. It was a pure merging with love which I have described countless times in my blogposts and with others.

So what happened next?

Well. I met a guy. Wait I really met a guy. He was introduced to me by my host family actually, and he was absolutely gorgeous. He looked literally like an angel and the first moment I saw him my heart floated out of my chest I swear. I felt like I had wings on my heart and they didn’t want to sit still. Well by this time I had remembered who I was and loved myself fully and completely, yet I had never really experienced it. I experienced the opposite of it and was grateful for that, but I hadn’t experienced it yet. I thought of the ways I might approach this guy, and I realized one unfortunate thing: I only knew how to get a guy in my bed, I didn’t know how to inspire a guy to be my lover.

So with relative ease (which was not the case in the past – in the past if I saw some guy I went bananas for I would cling onto him until he couldn’t stand it and shook me off), I just said to myself, “Well, let’s go practice how to be me then!” After all, you can’t just read a book to learn how to play basketball, you have to go out there and touch the ball and do it. So that’s what I did. I went online, set up a profile, and practiced being completely myself. I messaged over 150 guys and kept going. My ONLY intention with this exercise was to practice being completely, femininely myself (instead of masculinely, like I used to approach guys). And I did – no matter what it was, a real date or just being on chat. I would share when I felt uncomfortable or when I felt shy, or when I really didn’t want to continue talking altogether. Everything was all about being, not trying to get anywhere with any of these guys. I stayed completely open to whatever would show up for me so that I could work through these things, instead of push them and run away in embarrassment or shame. And I bravely did a lot of it in Italian! (The other thing was I learned most conversational Italian in about three months time – another joy for me!)

I truly did not intend to stay with any of the guys I met, but I ended up in a very long-term committed engagement with one of them that lasted four years. I kept telling myself this was just for practice, and I am appreciative of ALL of the guys who talk to me because they give me an opportunity to practice being myself.

him taking me to my first live soccer (I mean football) match - Go Inter!

him taking me to my first live soccer (I mean football) match – Go Inter!

And to this day I am still remembering who I am in situations I have never encountered, practicing more and more quantities and ways of being myself. It really never stops – the expansion. What has stopped is the behaviours I described in the beginning of this post I knew I had to let go of..those I have let go of and moved into a much more beautiful expression of myself that I could never have planned out.

But anyways…that was my secret affair with Italy..and I haven’t stopped yet, and I will never stop. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this experience with you, and invite you to look at ways in which you may move into a more authentic expression of who you really are, because the experiences that come with that are nothing short of incredibly absolutely breathtakingly amazing.



My Honest Review: Abraham Hicks Workshop

I just attended an Abraham Hicks workshop recently and felt like I should share what it was like for me, since I always wondered and never really found any interesting reviews prior to attending!

I got a second row seat stage right!

I got a second row seat stage right!

Throughout this whole experience I felt a little anxious and nervous, mostly because I was excited and that made me have ants in my pants (I was anxious and nervous in the eager kind of way), as I had been listening to Abraham recordings on YouTube almost nonstop for an entire year! On top of that I had been reading their books for even longer.

I didn’t read and listen to Abraham because I needed to know what was going on and validate that. I had an experience in 2012 where I trained myself, thought by thought, into a state of pure clarity and all-knowing understanding, and I saw myself and the world as it truly was for a period of time. What I found from listening to Abraham Hicks after was that everything they describe and “tell us we should do” is exactly what I experienced. I didn’t achieve it through following their teachings. I achieved it through thought cleansing, removal of all obstacles and “bugs” (as Andy Shaw would say), and my vision transformed into a state of pure knowing for about a month’s time. The closest I’ve felt the experience I had being described was in Anita Moorjani’s beautiful book, Dying to be Me where she describes her near death experience and what she saw from that perspective. I also found Anita’s book two years after my experience.

AHP Workshop timer

The workshop timer

Going to the workshop was something I had wanted to do for a long time because I had a couple of questions. I was really eager to ask some of my questions.

I arrived and found a great spot next to a few nice people. One thing I felt throughout the workshop was a level of trust I don’t usually have. I trusted leaving my bag on my spot, I trusted everyone would be kind, I trusted everything would work out really well. It felt like there was an understanding that we were all in there as positive, support for each other. And I experienced that in the first moments where I didn’t have the right change for a product I wanted to purchase. The lady next to me gave me the change I was missing – and said “that’s for you!” I was so happy and touched it was like one of those good help-people-out experiences (which in general life I tend to not have). I felt like this place was really cool, everyone at least tried to know and act on what was positive and helpful.

However as this feeling prolonged and grew and the more it stretched out, the stranger it felt. The workshop itself was pretty much as I expected – Esther introduced herself, she connected to Abraham and began speaking Abraham’s message. They always kind of have a “talk point” – the grid, high-flying disc, upstream or downstream, let go of the oars, path of least resistance, unconditional love, the vortex – the talk points of the workshops lately have been path of least resistance and unconditional love. It was cool to see it happening live and that feeling of “You can’t be sure what’s coming next,” although if you’ve been listening to Abraham for a long time, they kind of give the same message in different ways. Then they get someone in the “hot seat” and answer their questions, have segments of refreshment every hour of talking, then call on more people and do the same. That’s pretty much how the workshop goes, and that was what happened.

In regard to the uncomfortable feeling I was talking about, first of all, it seemed like everyone there had some dramatic story they overcame – as Abraham would say, “dig yourself a hole to climb into and everyone will clap when I climb out.” Left and right hearing people interact with each other, all I heard was “yeah I was having such a difficult time and then this and that happened to me and I found Abraham/angel cards/I got into my vortex and everything’s been like yeah, SO AWESOME. SO GLAD TO BE HERE. ALL IS WELL.” And “well two years ago I had this spiritual experience where these spiritual beings talked to me.” And “I had the worst time for a long time then, I realized it’s all my resistance I just gotta get into my vortex and now everything in my life is so awesome it’s just so so good. My life is so good. So good. I’m SO in the vortex all the time now, THANKS TO ABRAHAM.” – just things of this nature everywhere. I felt uncomfortable because I knew I had a broader perspective experience, but honestly, I would never share it like that. I share it lightly/generally here to contextualize, and I share it to people who seek answers. I never once during that workshop ever shared my experience, and the sharing of these things made it really strange, almost like an attempt to self-validate.

The other thing I noticed was that while Abraham was talking, people all around would be like “MMM.” “Yes.” “Yeah.” But mostly, “Mmm.” Over and over again while Abraham was talking. And it was from this  that I realized what felt so wrong about the workshop: This is what happened when I attended Christian retreats. The pastor would be talking (and I’m not Christian at all), and I’m interested to hear what he has to say, and then it needs to be interrupted by these little sounds all around me going “Mmm.” It was the singly most frustrating and annoying thing for me about attending Christian retreats. It’s as if people need to say Mmm to validate themselves and their own “beliefs” about what they “believe” in (and if you’ve studied a bug free mind, you’ll know how useless/damaging “believing” something is). The other similarity I heard during the workshop was that people would end their interactions with one another with “All is well.” It was the exact same energy as how people in the church ended sentences with “Jesus loves you.” I found these things ironic because a lot of “New Age/New Thought” community individuals condemn organized religions, especially Christianity. True, the new thought community has completely opposite premises, but I found that the energy of group, the energy of inclusive vs exclusive, the energy of us vs them, was exactly the same.

About the workshop, I never got to ask  my questions, and I was disappointed by a couple of people they did choose. I know that I would have felt the same way with what I’ve written above regardless of whether I got chosen or not. I still found the insights Abraham sharing to be wonderful messages, but the way people received them felt uncomfortable and unsettling. As an addendum, Abraham always says your question will be answered whether or not you get called up, well mine weren’t.

At the end of the day, I think what I understood from the workshop was this one really strange idea I did not consider prior to attending. When this guy asked if he could drink poison and have his body convert it to protein if he were in full alignment, Abraham asked him in the state of pure alignment, do you think you would feel inspired to drink poison? And everyone laughed, saying no. I realized by the end of the workshop that in the state of pure alignment, I personally would not be inspired to sign up and attend a workshop. I still love and listen to/read Abraham Hicks, but attending a workshop kind of felt like an older tooth-fairy experience for me. At the end of the day, words don’t teach, only experience does. It’s down to you, and I’m sure Abraham wouldn’t hesitate to endorse that one.

I’m grateful to have the opportunity to attend a workshop in person, and I trust that sharing my experience can help out and give some insight to some people who consider attending Abraham Hicks workshops!